


The Bear Minimum

by gin95



Series: JooKyun Radio Show [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Hyunwoo, Fluff, Lee Jooheon and Im Changkyun are idiots, M/M, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk, Second Date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 05:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20304529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gin95/pseuds/gin95
Summary: Shownu and Kihyun are both set up on a date with each other and while Shownu thought it went well, Kihyun thought it was a disaster. This leads Kihyun into ghosting and completely ignoring Shownu’s attempts for a second date. So what does an awkward and hopeless man like Shownu do? He calls a radio station in hopes of being helped by the hosts and hopefully scoring the second date he’s been wanting.





	The Bear Minimum

“Good morning, this radio station is brought to you by The Bare Minimum, where we are taught as guys to always exceed your date’s expectations, except this time, our listener, Hyunwoo, did the exact opposite and really did the bare minimum. What’s up, Hyunwoo, how you doin man?” Kyun, one of the radio hosts says.

The line was quiet.

“Uh, hello? Hyunwoo? Hey man, you there?”

“He probably hung up, Kyun. You talked too much or you offended him” the other host, Jooheon says.

“No he can’t be gone. We need him in our seg —”

“Uh, hi.”

“Oh he lives!! The boy who lived is here! Welcome to the radio show man, how can we help you in the second date update?” Changkyun asks.

“Uhh, well, I just want you guys to know I don’t normally listen to y’all,”

The hosts just laugh on the other side as they can tell how awkward the listener is and is probably why he needed help in the first place.

“That’s cool, man. I think only about five percent of the population ever really listens to us,” Jooheon responds.

“Nah man, that’s too many. If you calculate it, that’s like around 350 million. I think we’re in the point-oh-something percent,”

“You’re such a nerd Kyun” Jooheon laughs.

“Uh hello?”

“Oh our bad, man. So you were saying? If you don’t listen, how did you get on our segment then?” Kyun asks.

“Well, I have this really annoying friend. He was the one who actually set up this date, but anyways, he kept telling me about this radio show and this segment, then proceeded to email you guys without me knowing, and I guess, here we are?”

The hosts chuckle.

“Is that a question?”

“No! I mean, there’s nothing wrong with you guys, but this wasn’t how I wanted to get the guy to talk to me you know?”

“Well yeah, it’s kind of creepy to email a radio station just to get a date. But do tell us about the date since we’re here already and we need to earn some money,”

Jooheon snorts, “Yeah, and plus we need you for the segment” Changkyun finger guns him and clicks his tongue, while the other just rolls his eyes.

“Tell us all the dirty deets man! —”

“No dirty deets, Kyun!”

Changkyun whines, “Whyyyy?! We can get to the point-something percent man! More views! Do it for the gram,”

“This isn’t the gram, Kyun,”

Changkyun sighs on the mic, but before he can say anything, the listener, Hyunwoo speaks up again.

“Uh guys? The date?”

“Sorry, man, we keep getting distracted. It’s probably why we have only point-oh-percent listeners,” the duo laughs.

“But yes! The date!”

“— wait, give us the guy’s name first!” Jooheon, the only reasonable one, asks

“Kihyun is his name. But umm, like I said, my friend Minhyuk? —”

“—Is that another question, man?”

“—No, it’s not. But yeah, my friend set us up together. Kihyun is his boyfriend’s roommate —”

The hosts chuckle,

“We got that part”

“So yeah, we were set up and I thought we were doing great. He talked a lot and I listened. We ate good food, and walked around,”

“Annnnddd?”

“Umm, that’s it. There’s really nothing more to it —”

“Huh, okay. And how many times have you tried to contact him by chance?”

“Well, I would say since the date, it was about five times. I tried calling and messaging, but it looks like he blocked me? —“

“Another question?”

“No, I think he did. And whenever I ask Minhyuk, he tries to change the subject. And I rarely get mad but he’s starting to really piss me off, and then on top of that he’s the one that emails you guys without even letting me know!” Hyunwoo’s voice increases in volume, not out of anger, but out of frustration.

“Whoa, man calm down. But I agree with you, your friend sounds mildly annoying. Send us his number and we can do a prank phone call to even the score,”

Jooheon laughs and agrees.

“Wait, you can do that?—”

“— hell yes my man! I can relate to having an annoying friend, I mean look at Honey here, you don’t see him, but he’s glaring—”

“—I might just take you up on that offer though, but I really want a second date,” Hyunwoo intervenes.

He’s starting to feel like this was all pointless, since the duo don’t seem to be very serious about the matter at hand.To be honest, he really doesn’t know what happened. He thought the date went so well that he’d be able to kiss Kihyun by the end of it. Instead, Kihyun just gave him a hug and a pat on the back, _a pat_, like he was some sort of dog needing comfort. The date was a little modest, sure, but he wanted to be comfortable with the younger.

“Okay, go on man. Tell us the story of the date. No interruptions this time, we promise” Changkyun winked,

“He can’t see you wink, Kyun”

“Oh right! But I winked Hyunwoo, it’s like the equivalence of a pinky promise, which I take very seriously,”

Hyunwoo just sighs. He doesn’t know how he got here, talking to two radio hosts on a station he’s never heard of until today, but that’s another dilemma for another day. He continues with the story, beginning with how the date even came together in the first place.

When Minhyuk kept on insisting with the set up, both parties were very reluctant, especially Hyunwoo. He didn’t want to disappoint someone he hasn’t even met yet.

“Hyung! Don’t ever say shit like that!” Minhyuk exclaims, slapping his arms for good measure.  
The slap stings. Minhyuk may be small, but the boy certainly packs a punch.

Hyunwoo rubs his arms, “It’s not that Min. It’s nice that you think I’m good looking, and yeah, I’ll even admit that. But I’m boring. You have to admit that at least, aren’t I, Hyungwon?”

Hyunwoo turns to look at his friend’s boyfriend, who just looks back at him lazily.

“Yeah, you kind of are —”

“Won!” Minhyuk screeches and basically tried to speak to his boyfriend with his eyes, which are going back and forth, as if he was trying to communicate some alien language, without Hyunwoo knowing.

Hyungwon rubs the back of his head and smiles, “What I mean to say, hyung, is that even though you are boring, it means that it can be part of your charm,”

“How?”

“Well take Minhyuk for example. He talks too fucking much but then again, I don’t. So I like the balance between us—”

“Aww Won! I love it when you sweet talk me. It makes me wanna rip your clothes off and su—”

Hyunwoo groans, and while Hyungwon gets red, Minhyuk remains unbothered.

“—what I meant to say hyung, before this little devil interrupted me, is that use it to your advantage. Make it your niche you know? Own that shit and all that shit or whatever. You’re quiet, but that also means you’re a good listener. You’re awkward but that makes you a dork,—”

“I don’t see the good points in all of this” Hyunwoo interrupts

“Basically you big bear fluff of idiot—” Hyunwoo glares, “is that being a dorky quiet dude can actually be cute, if presented the right way.” Hyungwon finishes.

Hyunwoo actually thought about it and tried to figure out how to balance out the awkwardness and the dorkiness into something that was cute and charming, like Hyungwon had so nicely put.

That night, Hyunwoo was nervous to meet his date and his hands were shaking, to the point where it bothered him. Questions were in his mind and the what ifs start to rotate around his head, making him more anxious. He’s been to a lot of dates before, yes, and even had a couple of relationships, but he’s never been this nervous to meet a date of his.

Hyunwoo kept looking outside to hopefully calm his nerves down, when someone walks in his line of sight. He was handsome, a little shorter than Hyunwoo, and chubby cheeks that he thought were endearing. For a second, he felt bad because he was already cheating on his non-existent date with someone he didn’t even know.

Hyunwoo tries to get his mind off of the stranger and just waits patiently for his date. A couple of minutes later, his date appears, shocking Hyunwoo. The stranger he was ogling at was the Kihyun he was set up with. Hyunwoo couldn’t believe his luck.

“Hyunwoo right?”

“Yeah, uh, you must be Kihyun,” Hyunwoo clears his throat. He doesn’t know whether to hug him or just shake his hand, so just opts for a friendly smile.

_Cute and charming_  
_ Cute and charming_

Hyunwoo kept repeating that in his head as if it was some kind of spell.

They were sitting in one of Hyunwoo’s favorite restaurant, and he felt as if it was a good idea to bring Kihyun to familiar grounds, so he doesn’t become too anxious.

Thinking back now, maybe Hyunwoo should have taken Hoseok, his gym buddy’s advice. Go to a drive in movie, and just enjoy the romantic atmosphere. Instead, Hyunwoo went the boring and average route, with dinner and a walk.

“I’ve never been here before,” Kihyun turns and looks around, as if trying to figure the place out or taking a picture of it by memory.

Hyunwoo just smiles, “It’s one of my favorites actually! Hoseokkie and I come here very often!”

Kihyun kind of just stares at him and if Hyunwoo had been paying attention, he would have noticed Kihyun’s grimace. But when Hyunwoo meets Kihyun’s gaze, the younger just smiles and nods.

“Who’s Hoseokkie?” Kihyun asks,

“He’s a gym buddy of mine. Really good guy! I might replace Minhyuk with him,” Hyunwoo chuckles,

Kihyun laughs a little at this too and says,

“I’d rather take him than Hyungwon. He’s probably a little neater. Maybe louder, but neater.”

“Whenever you wanna swap, just let me know,” Hyunwoo smiles and so does Kihyun.

The conversation goes fairly well. It flows, and even though they tried to get to know things about each other, their conversation always ended up being about their friends—

“Hyunwoo, I know we said no interruptions, but this is a radio station, and there’s a time limit when it comes to this. Fast forward to what you think went wrong yeah?” Jooheon interrupts,

“Hyung! No interrupting! —”

“Kyun at this point, we’ll lose the actual point-oh-percent of our listeners,”

Hyunwoo clears his throat, apologizes, and fast forwards his story. They mainly talked about their friends, how Minhyuk and Hyungwon were annoyingly good together, how they were both annoying separately and even more so when they’re teamed up, how Hoseok has always been there for Hyunwoo through everything, and how Kihyun’s cat clawed Hyungwon’s favorite sheet and how he almost saw death in his eyes.

The date keeps going and they kept talking. Hyunwoo’s talking more than usual and Kihyun’s presence helped him relax and made his anxiety go away. After the dinner, they went outside and walked, enjoying the slight breeze, and continuing their talks from the restaurant. After finding out the time, Kihyun tells Hyunwoo that he needs to get going, since he has an early day tomorrow. Hyunwoo offers to walk him back to his place, but Kihyun just chuckles and says,

“It’s too far, hyung, but thank you for the offer,”

Hyunwoo leans in to hopefully kiss the younger and ask for a second date, but before he can, Kihyun just pats the older and tells him goodnight. Leaving Hyunwoo confused.

After the story, Hyunwoo just sighs and tries to think of things that might’ve made things go the wrong way. Tiny excuses that suddenly become big boulders, but before Hyunwoo can get in his head, the radio hosts clear their throat.

“Hyung, can I call you hyung?” Changkyun asks,

“Is that a question?” Hyunwoo smirks and throws the younger’s words back at him.

Changkyun and Jooheon chuckle,

“We’ll call you hyung. You sound more mature than us—”  
“Very mature”  
“It seems like maybe you were talking about this guy, Hoseokkie? a little too much?”

Hyunwoo furrows his eyebrows in confusion

“Yeah, hyung. I think maybe Kihyun thought that this Hoseokkie is an ex and that you’re still not over him?” Jooheon adds.

“But I talked a lot about Minhyuk too though —”

Changkyun interrupts this time and says,

“Yeah but he already knows that he’s dating his roommate, so he’s not worried about it. But he doesn’t know who this Hoseok dude is”

“Yeah and maybe you should have made it clear that this Hoseok is actually just a friend, and nothing more, hyung.” Jooheon finishes.

“I really thought I made it clear that he was just a gym buddy and nothing else.” Hyunwoo replies.

“And also, maybe he wanted more of an effort from you when it came to the date? He can be one of those guys who likes to feel special, you know? Like dinner and a walk sounded too simple, maybe?” Jooheon adds

Before Hyunwoo can reply, Changkyun cuts him off.

“Well, we’re gonna come back to this after we play a song hyung. We’ll give you some advice on how to approach things and we’ll call Kihyun to hear his side of the story alright?”

“Alright,”

“Hang tight,” and with that Lil Wayne’s “How To Love” plays over the radio.

Before Hyunwoo can appreciate the choice of music, he starts to wonder what if the two younger hosts actually have a point. Did he bring up Hoseok so much that it seemed like they were exes? Or moreover, did he seem like he was still trying to get over someone that wasn’t even his from the beginning? Hyunwoo couldn’t think too much, since the song ended too soon and he was back in the air.

“To our point-oh-five percent listeners, if you guys are just tuning in, we have Hyunwoo on the line who’s trying to get a second date with a guy named Kihyun. Basically we think that he talked too much about a certain friend that Kihyun might have thought he was his ex. Hyung, we’re gonna dial Kihyun’s number alright? And stay quiet! Also as for the advice, Honey hyung and I came up with the conclusion that maybe this Kihyun guy just couldn’t get past the part where you kept talking about another dude, which may mean that he's possessive, and that maybe you should have prepared more on the date.”

“Wait, hyung are you sure you wanna do this? If the dude’s possessive, you really don’t wa —”

“— yeah, hyung, if he’s possessive, he better be hella fine, because the crazy-hot scale never lies”

“Never”

Hyunwoo is about to walk over to the radio station and just knock these guys into their senses, but just sighs and tells them, “I’m positive.”

“Alright, we’re gonna dial his number,”

The phone rings and rings, and before Hyunwoo gives up, he hears a soft “Hello?”

“Hi! Can we speak to Kihyun please?” Changkyun asks,

“Umm… this is he, can I ask who this is?”

“Cool man, this is Changkyun. I host a radio show called JooKyun and we got an email about you.”

Kihyun is silent for a long time and sighs before saying,

“I have a friend who talks about this radio show non-stop. He keeps telling me you guys are his platonic soulmates or something. If his boyfriend set this up, I’m gonna freaking kill them both,”

Changkyun and Jooheon just laugh, thinking that this friend of theirs, probably the couple, would be someone they’d like to get to know in person.

“Wow your friends vibe with us, because this looks like the type of thing I would do too,” Jooheon says,

“Same. But anyways, we’re guessing that you’re not familiar with our show then?”

“No”

“Okay, so we do a segment called the second-date update. It’s where if you go on a date with someone and not contact them afterwards, they can email us about it and we’ll try to get you on the other line to hear your side of the story."  
Kihyun was silent.

“Is this about Hyunwoo?”

“Ding ding ding! We got a winner Joo! Yes, this is about your date with Hyunwoo hyung —”

“Hyung? Wait — are you a friend of his?” Kihyun interrupts,

“No, not yet. But we kind of like how awkward he is, it’s actually really charming, and plus it’s rude to just call an elderly by their name,”

Hyunwoo tries not to curse on the other side where he’s listening.

“So anyways, Hyunwoo hyung emailed, no actually, it was his friend who emailed us. He told us about the date and how he thought it was going great, and how you guys clicked, how you were cute, and how you guys got to chatting about your friends. Basically he had high hopes for a second date, but didn’t end the way he wanted to” Changkyun says.

“That’s funny. I kind of felt like he was still hung up on his ex,” Kihyun quietly says.

“Are you talking about Hoseok?”

“How did you know that?” Kihyun surprisingly asks.

“Hyunwoo hyung of course! He told us what you guys talked about, and he seems like a great —”

“But awkward, don’t forget awkward Kyun”

“—albeit awkward guy. But we even told him that he probably talked too much about this Hoseok dude that he didn’t make it clear enough that he was just a friend, nothing more.”

“I kind of felt like it was something more. The way he talked about him, he basically had heart eyes you know? And I just didn’t want to associate myself with someone who still has someone in his heart.” Kihyun explains.

_Fuck Hyunwoo, you really need to be more observant._ Hyunwoo facepalms himself on the other side of the line and continues to listen.

“Was that the main reason you ghosted hyung? Because we also kind of thought, based on his description of the date, that it may have been a little too simple for you” Jooheon asks this time.

“No. I actually enjoyed the date. To be completely honest with you, the dude’s out of my league —” Hyunwoo’s eyes get big at the revelation but doesn’t interrupt

“—I had a lot of fun really. It was nice being able to talk and have someone actually listen to what you have to say you know? It’s kind of rare to find someone so hot and attentive at the same time,” Kihyun chuckles

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean I’m quite a rare breed” Changkyun says, while his partner just rolls his eyes,

“Yeah, god forbid we need another extreme gamer slash nudist in the world”

“— I am what I am man, no denial, only acceptance,” Changkyun winks and continues, “So you said he was out of your league? Man, now I’m curious as to what he looks like,”

Kihyun tries to figure out how to describe Hyunwoo, but comes up blank. Instead, in his stupidity, he just says, “He looks like a seal when he smiles but is built like a bear?”

The hosts just laugh at the unique description and Kihyun gets red, but they don’t need to know that since they can’t see him anyway.

“Damn, that’s some mythological stuff. Maybe hyung belongs in a museum!” Changkyun exclaims, but to keep the segment going, he asks if that was the whole reason he didn’t get back to Hyunwoo.

“So you’re saying he seems like he likes this friend of his, Hoseok, he’s hot, in a unique-hard-to-get kind of way, and he’s a mythological creature?”

Kihyun really needs to listen to this radio show more often as he laughs, and agrees.

“Okay, well why don’t you ask him all those questions because he’s actually on the other line,”

Nope, he’s never listening to these two idiots again

“Please tell me that you’re lying? It’s already bad that this is on air, no matter how small your platform is but it’s gonna be worse if he’s on the other line?” Kihyun almost squeaks

“Okay, our platform is not that small, I’m offended —“

“Dang, you guys really like asking questions. You really are meant to be.” Jooheon chuckles while Kihyun reddens at the comment.

“But it depends, it’s kind of quiet so he might have hung up, hyung? You still there?” Changkyun asks.

“Uh yeah, I’m here and I heard everything. Hey Ki,”

“Oh my god, hyung, the nicknames!” Changkyun squeals.

To be honest, Changkyun and Jooheon’s radio station rarely get these innocent second date updates. Most of the time it’s fuckboys or even fuckgirls who just want to get a second date because they couldn’t sleep with their dates the first time they went out. And most of the time, they end up agreeing to it because while the listener sounds sweet and convincing to their date, to the hosts, he or she is actually a conniving and manipulative person who just wants to get some.

It’s been awhile since they’ve heard such a sweet and innocent story, and the hosts both hope that it goes well in the end, no matter how much teasing they gave them.

“Hyun, hyun—woo” Kihyun stutters

“Hey” Hyunwoo softly responds, before continuing, “I’m sorry that I kept talking about Hoseok. It calms me down when I talk about my friends, who are something familiar in my life. They keep me grounded when I’m awkward you know? I didn’t want you to think that I was a weirdo, since Hyungwon—”

“Who’s Hyungwon?”

“Must be the other friend”

“—told me that I’m awkward and quiet and that I needed to turn that into something charming, which I tried. Apparently it didn’t work. Also I’m not out your league, you’re kind of out of mine.” Hyunwoo adds shyly.

Kihyun just smiles while he hears the older ramble.

“I didn’t mean to not get back to you hyung. I just didn’t want to be the rebound you know? I wanted you to figure it out first with Hoseok, if you did like him. I’ve been in that kind of relationship too many times and it’s not something I want to relive,”

“I understand”

“Alright, since we got that all cleared up and that Hoseok is just a friend, can we get a picture of you Hyunwoo hyung? I wanna see if you’re a mythological find or not,” Changkyun asks.

“Kyunnie, maybe this can be our breakthrough!”

“Ooohhh, maybe we’ll finally get rich and stuff! Hyung, send us a pic alright?”

The two listeners just roll their eyes, but before they can say anything, Changkyun beats them to it.

“So anyways, since we got that cleared up, except for the picture, which I still need by the way, for research purposes. Kihyun hyung, will you go on a second date with Hyunwoo hyung, we’ll even pay for it?”

Kihyun tries to outweigh his pros and cons. To be honest, Kihyun had a lot of fun in the date. Hyunwoo was nice and hot, but was also very attentive. He made Kihyun special in a way, and Kihyun hasn’t felt special in a while. He’s been into too many guys who only wanted him as a toy, nothing more. But for some reason, Hyunwoo didn’t feel like that type of guy. So, even though he was scared, he wanted to give Hyunwoo a chance and chooses to believe that there was nothing going on between Hyunwoo and this Hoseok friend of his, and agrees to the second date.

“Yes”

The hosts celebrate along with Hyunwoo.  
Hyunwoo practically jumps up and down out of excitement and at the fact that he got a second date.

“You won’t regret it Kihyun. I’ll make it worth your while,”

Kihyun chuckles at the elder.

“I know hyung. I actually liked the date, the minimalism of it was great, so don’t try to overthink about it,”

At that sentence, Hyunwoo practically fell in love.

“Alright you lovebirds. Congrats on the second date. And apparently, dudes and gals, the bare minimum works just fine. Just don’t talk about your friends too much, unless you’re of course, a mythological creature who belongs in a museum,” Changkyun says and Jooheon just chuckles at his partner’s words, but before they hang up, Hyunwoo speaks again,

“Hey what about that prank phone call you promised me?”

“In exchange for your picture?”

“Yeah”

“Minhyuk?”

Hyunwoo smiles.

“Minhyuk.”

Changkyun and Jooheon devilishly smile at each other. God, they love this job.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you guys like my attempt at humor, lol. I listen a radio show in the morning and this fic is loosely based on a segment they have. And sorry if it seems a little all over the place.


End file.
